Be warned, we're going to talk about farts, examine feces, and detail urine. Smells, colors, appearance, texture, everything will be covered. Ready? Let's go then, and you're in luck, I'm one of those people who chemo cause nausea, so we won't talk about vomit (or barely). 😎👍
Let's see... Where to start? The body is a distillation apparatus, and nothing like a radical change in your habits to realize how indisputable this is. It's a fact that manifests itself daily in various... shapes, so to speak.
With chemo and all the meds you're ingesting, your body chemistry changes. You sweat more, your sweat smells stronger and less like your own, and your mouth is often dry, making your breath unpleasant. When you speak, your nose, a bit like Fred in "A Scanner Darkly", wonders who on earth just died in the room. Even if you drink liters of water or herbal tea. This naturally leads us to the second source of uncertainty and disbelief: urination! When you pee, it's strong, cloudily orange-yellow, and you don't recognize your own familiar smell, the one you're used to. Will you ever get used to this impossible micturition? Will it self-destruct in thirty seconds? Suddenly it's stronger, more acrid, more animalistic. And as your nose, already schizo from all this, changes a little too, it's definitely super, duper, weird.
But that's nothing compared to the queen of your bodily productions: your stools, poop, shit, turds, droppings... Yes, I'm getting sidetracked, excuse me... I like all these words that mean the same thing but show its diversity. In fact, they're getting darker: greyer, greener, gray-green, or even black. They're dry and compact, they don't feel good on their way out, and they stink like hell. Something really fetid! Not at all like your standard, respectable excrement. Not the honest, bourgeois poop that comes out discreetly. No, this is stubborn shit that wants to stay nice and warm, and makes you pay for its ejection with a rather odious final bouquet. Sometimes it hangs on and becomes sticky. During this period, I often thought of Richard Pryor's sketch, later repeated by Eddie Murphy in Raw. So true.
At certain moments, nothing comes out, but you're hungry and the doctors have told you: “You must eat, no joking around!” After two days of being blocked, it's like at a toll booth when truckers are stuck in traffic, it piles up and, as they say in the weather forecast, the weather becomes windy, you fart like crazy! It's Fart Wars! Pestilential is an understatement. You feel like you're hosting an alien.
At certain points, you're just a farting, pissing, and shitting sack of flesh. That's it for your social life. 😎
P.S. I didn't put any picture on this page... Hope you don't mind. 😉
