Routine?
The day got off to a bit of a rough start, fatigue is setting in, but everything is fine, the weather is nice, spring is finally here, everything seems easier, people are more laid back. This is my fourth and last chemo If everything continues to go well. We'll see. I don't get many visitors in the afternoon, but I'm pleased to see Dr. To for the last time as she's leaving. Other than that, not much has changed: bags of fluids, tubes everywhere, monitoring machines... Things are going pretty well, except for the fatigue. I doze off watching TV, which a previous patient paid for several days. The food is the same too, couscous for lunch and hard-boiled eggs with spinach for dinner. I couldn't eat it; just the smell of the eggs made me want to throw up. So I got a yogurt instead ;-).
Those who follow me on Facebook know that I've been on an AI trip and back to Linux since I stopped working. I bought a first laptop for €180, installed Linux Mint on it, and am writing this text with it. The guy who sold it to me is offering me another one for... I won't even tell you how much because it's Marie's birthday, which is perfect timing. I tell the guy he'll have to come to Cochin. He comes by on Friday morning, I have a key with Mint on it, and I quickly install it, including updates and customization, so it looks a little more like her Mac and she feels at home. Other than that, I had the bent needle removed, took a shower, and talked to another pulmonologist about my discharge paperwork.
Life in a castle
I still feel more tired after this one than after the first three. That's normal: the product accumulates over time. I woke up several times during the night, feeling quite groggy, not really nauseous but not really well either. So I'm spending the day sitting a little behind myself with hiccups that keep coming back despite taking Promerolan.
In the evening, we head to Meung-sur-Loire for Marie's birthday. Anna and JF take us there; I wouldn't be able to drive anyway, even if our car was running smoothly. The next two days are very pleasant, but again I need to rest a lot; #4 is definitely the most exhausting.
Saturday, I manage to be somewhat present half the time. The other half, I spend lying on the bed doing nothing. When I say nothing, I mean nothing! I could watch TV, use my computer or smartphone, look at the Loire River from the window, but I'm too exhausted, so my movements are limited to bed → bathroom and vice versa. Sunday is even worse! I get up, go downstairs for breakfast, eat, and towards the end, a smell, I can't say what it is (hard-boiled egg? Butter? Dog?), puts me off my food and I feel I have to go back to my room just in case.
Once there, things calmed down, but strangely enough, the episode left me feeling completely drained, and this time I spent the entire day lying down in a state of profound fatigue where you don't even need to let your thoughts drift because you're so exhausted that they're conspicuous by their absence. It's a rather strange state, in which you see your surroundings with a random overlay of blocks of varying colors passing by. Perhaps my brain, too tired to care about their content, encapsulated the ideas in these blocks.
In any case, I learned one thing: fatigue is a bottomless pit.
