Anyway, for me maths are definitely out of reach. Of course, I might understand a thing or two once in a blue moon, but it's impossible for me to stem the tide:
(boredom + lack of knowledge) * (visual imagination close to zero) + MBS
that rushes to my brain with every try at explanation, understanding, etc. Whether it's a personal initiative or someone trying to help me. When, moreover, the small amount you do understand only serves to fuel your frustration and anger at what you have repeatedly failed to understand as a child, to the point that you begin to hate the discipline and its servants (which was not the case in my youth), you decide to lay it all out before your eyes once and for all, before closing the book on the subject for good.
I just hope it will help some teachers, or those who have a feel for maths, or even those who have never had any kind of difficulty, to understand that anything can happen, including the most unbelievable thing: spending eight years at middle school/high school without realizing that letters represent numbers and without anyone, neither me nor them, pointing it out. All it would have taken was for someone to notice this at the start of my fourth year and mention it to me. I would have had a completely different experience of maths. I might not have been good, but I certainly wouldn't have been so completely lost.
I would have liked benefit from the beneficial light of mastered mathematical knowledge, but it didn't happen. That's just how it is. So I accept this mathematical incompetence as one of my burdens and I have made my peace with it. What else can you do at 63?
Unless...
